Americas Cup

Baydog Accuses Larry Of Being A Traitor! Let's Examine The Facts.


Flag of Sir Ben.
Saviour of America! (I thought we fought a war with these blokes?)


Flag of Russell Coutts and some of "Team USA."
New Zealand - Commonwealth member.


Flag of Jimmy Spithill and most of "Team USA."
Australia - Commonwealth member. Hm, I beginning to sense a pattern.


Flag of the Lord of Lanai, aka Larry Ellison
Hawaii - "Discovered" by Captain Cook who ended up getting conked on the head after attempting to kidnap his host, King Kalaniʻōpuʻu. Never bite the hand that feeds you!


Flag of the home of the next America's Cup.
Bermuda - British Overseas Territory. Larry's next purchase....oh wait, they'll let him have it for free. Cheerio!

Verdict: Benedict Arnold! He too pretended to be a patriot.

Ben larry2

I serve at the pleasure of Her Majesty The Queen.
If we don't have Americans on Team USA, then we don't have to defend the America's Cup in America.

The Great No Place To Sail In America Tour Continues. Requested By Bonnie, Today's Stop Is The Big Apple.













Ny race

Ny central park pond sailing


America 2

It's ludicrous to suggest New York as a sailing venue. It make absolutely no sense to hold an event in a place that is the media and finacial center of the United States, has hotels, restaurants, shopping, tourists, and a natural ampitheater that can accomidate a few million of your closest friends. What a dumb idea!


Besides, Larry doesn't want his galley slaves to be distracted.

My Gosh, There's No Place To Sail In The USA.


Long Beach, no way!


San Francisco, are you kidding me? (Those guys supported the Kiwis.)


Miami, shiami!


Newport, really? Why on earth we hold an event there? I think someone calling himself the Tillerman lives there, god no!

Buzzards Bay

How about Buzzards Bay? That's a no go!


Hawai'i? The Shogun owns one of her islands. Sorry, they serve Mai Tais, the wrong rum drink.

Key west

Key West! Who in their right mind would hold a sailing race off of a tiny island?

San diego

San Diego. Egads, the home of Dennis Connor! You need to see a shrink.

"So, A Dark And Stormy It Is." It's Official, AC35 To Be Held On Larry's New Island Of Bermuda.


2 ounces dark rum (Gosling's Black Seal)
3 ounces ginger beer (Barritt's)

Glass Type: Collins glass

Combine the rum, and ginger beer (not ginger ale!!!!) in a tall glass full of ice cubes. Stir. Lime is optional, just don't tell a Bermudian, he'll gag.

In Case You Haven't Heard, It's Over!


The Fat Lady has sung!


Oracle Team USA (if you're a sailor, you already know this) made a dramatic comeback to snatch the America's Cup from what all the pundits (yours truly included) had said was a sure thing for the Kiwis.


The Cup, she's not going anywhere. She left her heart in San Francisco.

Kudos to Jimmy, Sir Ben, Sir Russell Coutts (I wonder if he can go home to New Zealand?), the crew of Oracle and yes, to Larry "The Shogun" Ellison for putting on a great effort and changing forever how sailboat races will be conducted in the future.